Here we go. Today marks the start of what will probably be one of the longest weeks ever. I know that a date is just a date and due dates don’t really mean much besides a marker for the doctor’s to see how you are progressing but regardless…this sucks. To me, a due date means (well, meant) the culmination of 9 months of pregnancy and the start of becoming an active family and much, much more. Now, it has taken on a whole new meaning – complete devastation. Which also means you may find me wandering around moping like an emo zombie. Forgive me in advance, I will try to keep that nonsense to a minimum in the public eye.
I know that this week isn’t going to be hard on just me. Sean has been a saint listening to me and reading these posts but I know that he is suffering just as much as I am. He was so excited to be a father, it breaks my heart all over again thinking about it. I try to write these posts from both of our perspectives but I know that most of them come out one-sided. It is so much easier to write these thoughts down instead of trying to form conversations with all of my emotions weighing my words down. Truth be told, I hate crying in front of people. I think that I find it a sign of weakness and it is still hard for me to tell myself that it isn’t weakness, it’s your way of showing emotion. I’m afraid that if I talk about it too much or to too many people I won’t be able to control my emotions and the tears will flow.
In any case, please bear with us in these coming days and if we seem a little more grumpy than normal, please understand why.