Did he really say that? Part 3

I think it’s time for one more installment of the “Did he really say that?” series. If you’re just tuning in, my husband – as amazing as he his – has a terrible case of foot-in-mouth disease and has managed to come up with some pretty epic one liners over the past few months. You can catch up on some of the previous gems here and here if you’d like. On that note…

1. One night, much like every other night, we were sitting on the uncomfortable love seats we have in our basement in front of our only tv  watching some episodes of Bones. Like every other night, I was complaining that anything that fits tightly around my belly is rather uncomfortable and annoying. Usually, he plays the selective hearing card and ignores me, but about as fast as I said that he leaned over and said “Come on, let’s go convertible for the little guy. Tops up!” as he started pulling my shirt up over my belly. Thanks, honey – at least we weren’t in public?
2. This one is totally unrelated to pregnancy. Unless he chooses to claim sympathy pregnancy brain – I will leave that up to him. I came home from work one night after a rather long day to Sean announcing that a pizza is in the oven and should be done in a minute or two. He followed me upstairs to chat about our day while I changed out of my scrubs and into my fat pants. Quite awhile later, he jumps up in the middle of our conversation and screams “Oh shit, the pizza!” and sprints down the stairs. I swear I haven’t laughed that hard in a long, long time.
3. We have very random conversations about the baby and what we want for the little one. During one of these random conversations we were talking about which traits we hoped Babysaurus would get from both of us. Sean, never one to brag, exclaimed “I hope the baby gets your hair and my legs because let’s be honest, they are amazing.” They sure are honey, they sure are…
4. As I’ve said many times before, my biggest and probably only complaint about pregnancy is the gigantor hooters that I have sprouted making it very hard to find anything that fits appropriately or comfortably. It’s quite the hot topic in our house and I hate it when people tell me how big they are. I wish I could remember what we were doing but after he was trying to shove things down my shirt for quite some time, I gave him the best mom face that I could muster because nothing else seemed to get him to stop. He, in turn, gave me his poor me puppy dog face and said “What? If they’re gonna be that big they might as well store stuff!” Speechless. Absolutely speechless.
5. Driving home one night I noticed a billboard advertising a need for Big Couples for Big Brothers and Big Sisters. The billboard was worded funny and I found it quite amusing. I assumed he saw the same giant billboard that was directly in front of our car so like a smart ass I asked him if he wanted to be a Big Couple. Sean looked absolutely appalled and said What?? No!. When I questioned his ridiculous response to a funny billboard he said “Oh, I thought you just wanted me to get fat with you.” I will show you fat, my friend. As in your swollen fat face after I pummel you for making yet another fat joke.

I have a few more left that I think I will save for one final post before the baby comes. I’m sure they are only going to get better over the next few weeks because the level of ridiculousness that he spews seems to increase the more excited he gets.

Love you, husband! 🙂