a mama’s worry

This week has been a bit of a roller coaster for us, and I know that my intense hormonal reactions did not help make it any better. On Tuesday, we headed in for what we thought was going to be a routine weekly appointment but the universe apparently had different plans for us.

After listening to the baby’s heartbeat, our midwife said that she heard some decelerations in the baby’s heart rate and thought it would be best for us to go to L&D and be put on the monitor for a while to see what was going on. Of course, we were at an after hours clinic (which is usually a huge perk this office has to offer) which meant that we were arriving at L&D during shift change. Coming from healthcare, I caught on to the attitude right away as we were shoved into a room and slapped on the monitor by a very unfriendly nurse.

Over the course of the next 10 minutes or so, quite a few people came in and out of our room. Sean and I were both terribly nervous. It doesn’t matter what kind of background you come from – even if you have knowledge of health care and babies, once you are put in a situation where  you are suddenly concerned for the welfare of your baby, all knowledge immediately leaves your brain and worry settles in. It did not help at all when a nurse listened to the heartbeat for quite a while then stands up, says “Huh…” and immediately walks out of the room. Are. You. Kidding. Me??

At this point, I had come to the realization that we could very well be having a c section that night. While it was not at all what I had wanted or been planning for, I was perfectly fine with whatever was going to keep our baby healthy. That line of thinking changed as soon as the midwife on call came in, listened to the heartbeat and said that she thought it was an irregular rhythm, that she was going to get a physician to listen and they might want to do further tests to see what the problem was. Ok. So now we not only might have to have a c section that night, but the baby might have a heart problem? Cue the horrible flashbacks from Deidre and instant internal meltdown.

After a few minutes, a very unattached and unemotional physician came in, listened for all of about 10 seconds, announced it was a common irregular rhythm and advised I come in on Friday for a non-stress test all while walking back out of our room. What? All of that worry for nothing? And so, we were sent on our merry way to stew in our worries for the next 2 days while we waited for the NST.

Let me tell you – sitting around waiting for a test, without much information, all the while worried that there is something wrong with your baby is pretty much hell. And this is the second time we have had to go through it. Luckily, Babysaurus is quite a healthy little booger and passed the NST with flying colors today after a very informative thumbs up from a completely different and awesome physician.

A mama’s worry is really quite something. It is a complete motivator and turns you into a totally protective, primal being. I was able to get so much done over the past few days, and we are now totally ready for Babysaurus to arrive. Our bags are packed, everything is clean and waiting in its place to welcome the little one when it is time.

And that time might be coming a lot sooner than we expected at the rate these contractions keep increasing….


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