As I sit here, feeding my little girl in the quiet early hours of the morning, I can’t help but reflect on how much has happened over the past year. 2 pregnancies, 2 births, 1 living child and 1 that will live in our hearts forever, a new house, job loss, job gain, promotions, and 2 new nephews are among a few of the changes that have tested us and blessed us through and through.
If anything, this past year has taught us to live in the now and truly appreciate everything we have been blessed with. It has taught us not to take anything for granted and to be prepared, because the way you have planned for things to go and the way you want them to go usually isn’t the way it’s going to happen.
This week is a big week for us. In my mind it is, anyways. This week is our daughter, Deidre’s, first birthday. One year from the day she was born and taken from us. One year from the day that our lives changed forever. The very next day, our daughter Amelia will be one month old. It seems bittersweet that these 2 milestones are so close together. We will never forget Deidre and we owe her the world for teaching us so much about ourselves. She opened our eyes to the amount of emotion we could feel and she opened our hearts to the ability to love something so devastatingly much. We owe it to her to celebrate her life – however short it was – and to remind ourselves of the struggles we went through to be where we are today.
It will be a strange transition, with feelings of melancholy and sadness one day to feelings of happiness and joy the next, but it is a necessary one. I am and will be forever grateful for both of my daughters who have taught me more about myself than I knew was possible. It is with that thought in mind that will help me through the anniversary of a loss and onto the first milestone of many more to come.
Deidre and Amelia, mama loves you more than you know. You both have made our lives so, so special.