I’m a mix of emotions tonight as I just rocked my sweet baby girl to sleep for the last time before I start back to work. Tomorrow, I start my new role as a working mother as I head back to work and I have to say that it is a lot harder on me than I thought it would be. I have flown a little low on the blog radar this past week so I could spend as much time as I could staring at this beautiful face.
On one hand, I am ready to get back to work and I am lucky to have a job that will be such as an easy one to transition back into. On the other, I cannot stand the thought of being away from that beautiful tiny face for my long, long shifts at the hospital. I love the routine we made for ourselves over the past 12 weeks. Sleep, eat, play, cuddle, explore and start it all over again. I’m having a very hard time imagining our days being anything other than that.
I have watched her grow more alert, stronger, watched as she became more aware of her surroundings and have seen her personality shape so much over the past 3 months. I am scared that I am going to miss something. We were so lucky to both be there this morning when her first belly shaking giggle echoed in the hallways of our house as Sean was tickling her little squishy belly. I am scared that I might not be there for the next milestone, and I know that every other mother before me has had these exact same thoughts.
All of you mama’s out there that have been in this place, I give you every ounce of respect I have. Motherhood is the most rewarding yet scary and trying role I have ever had. It is also the one that I am most proud of.
To every mother out there that I know, and all of the ones that I don’t…I salute you.